I call it my aha moment. When I realized the power of NVC and the potential it has to change people’s lives instantly.

You may have never heard of NVC and are wondering what the heck it is. Or you’ve heard of NVC and you’re wondering what the heck I’m getting at. Let me explain through a story.

At this point in my life, I had been introduced to and done a little training in Nonviolent Communication, was encouraged by it and saw potential in it. But I didn’t realize how much potential it has until that day. 

One of my good friends called me asking for help. Her daughter, who I loved dearly, was pissed. For the sake of this story we’ll call the mother Jane and the daughter Susie. Susie had just found out that Jane had a boyfriend. This doesn’t seem like a big deal, but she was super close to her dad and her parents had recently gone through a divorce, and this was the first boyfriend Jane had since. Susie was livid, she had written in lipstick the name of the boyfriend, his phone number and his kids’ names on the mirror. She had broken stuff in the kitchen. And in less than 24 hours she had made multiple charges on her mother’s credit card with the accompanying text “If you think this is a high price to pay you haven’t seen anything yet.”

So Jane was on the phone with me and asked me to talk with Susie. To help in any way I could.  At that moment I didn’t know what to do. I’d never experienced anything like this before. I had a range of emotions going through my head - fear, sadness, anger, confusion. Luckily, something inside of me said to practice NVC. So when Susie came to my house that day, I practiced the most basic form of NVC.  I sat silently and listened in a way I never had before - essentially using NVC empathy. 

I don’t want to go into too much detail of the how and what happened after because I tell this story and dissect it in the course. But her entire demeanor changed. She connected with the entire feelings of losing her father and where all her emotions were coming from. And it was incredibly powerful to witness. Miraculous even. A situation that soon before seemed in despair and like it was only going to get worse didn’t. I remember driving around the following day in awe and thinking about how so many situations could be avoided in people’s lives if we all just had these NVC skills.

I tell this not to belittle or demean the people involved, in fact I love them both and they are very close to me. But instead I tell this story because that day I experienced the power of giving someone empathy. Of being completely present with them and understanding of where they were right there. And the immediate impact it had on them, and me. And the impact it has now to change people’s lives. To change your life. To give you hope in all situations, to give you tranquility, power, confidence, connection, and fulfillment.

I have multiple stories like this one now from my years of teaching NVC and running a restorative justice program. I’ve seen this means of communication and empathy change the lives of all types of people. From youth in my restorative justice program who were deemed near impossible to motivate and get to cooperate that not only became motivated and cooperated, but many even returned to volunteer because of the impact it had on their lives. To our program having a waiting list of volunteers, from all walks of life, because of its impact and how fast it was growing.

In my 10+ years of teaching NVC, I’ve fine-tuned my award-winning approach into The Bigbie Method. I want to share my method with you through this course. To make your life better. Give you fulfillment in your relationships. Bring more peace to all corners of your life.   And to hopefully make the world a better place one person at a time.

Cindy Bigbie